Perspective is key. Among the most detrimental mental attitudes somebody may develop is a victim-mentality, which can have a negative effect on progress toward any objective.
A victim mindset is what?
The attitude of a victim is a destructive one. It ascribes external causes for internal distress, such as other people or external events. ” A “pointing the finger out” situation, if you will.
People who adopt a victim mentality are characterized by a gloomy worldview in which they attribute all of life’s ills on the actions of others. No time is ever given for introspection. To claim victim status is to absolve oneself of responsibility. They have no responsibility for anything. People that take on a “poor me” attitude do so because they thrive on the attention, sympathy, and reinforcement they get when they act the part.
When we allow ourselves to become victims, we stop seeing our strengths and start seeing only our weaknesses.
While nobody is born with a victim complex, nobody is immune to taking on the victim persona at some point in their lives either. People of all ages and walks of life, from sweet elderly grandparents to loving, well-intentioned parents to youngsters and even the so-called “spiritually enlightened,” inhabit this defeatist environment.
In truth, everyone living today has been the helpless victim at some point in their life.
Those who live in victimhood, however, are more likely to engage in self-defeating behavior when things are going well because they believe that “catastrophe is lurking right around the corner.”
How can one overcome the negative, “poor me,” gloomy outlook that was likely formed and embraced in childhood?
Your self-concept is the starting point for everything else. How would you characterize yourself, a victim or a survivor?
To cope, survivors just go with the flow. They are present-oriented and proactive in their lives. They realize that they are solely to blame for whatever happens. They understand that by taking charge of their own life, they have the ability to make positive changes.
On the opposite hand, victims indulge in self-pity while fighting and arguing with existence. They live in the past, certain that they can do nothing to alter their current situation. Since they believe they have no control over their circumstances, they always have to be on the defensive.
Having an attitude of helplessness is costly. It has devastating effects on one’s career and personal life alike. Those who wallow in self-loathing and a sense of victimhood because they have given up are the ones who really are failures.
We need to stop seeing ourselves as victims before we can break free of that mindset. What we don’t possess, we can’t alter. Changing our mindset and realizing that “change starts with me” is essential. We must accept the need of taking action in order to survive, no matter how tiny or trivial it may appear at the moment.
Most importantly, we need to quit putting ourselves down with demeaning “I can’t” / “I won’t” comments and thoughts and start constantly empowering ourselves through “I can” with “I will” declarations.
And the finest of attitudes is thankfulness, which we must adopt. It’s important to pause each day and think about what makes us happy and what’s happening well in our lives. The victim mindset may be overcome if we keep our attention and energy on the bright side of things.
After everything is said and done, we owe ourselves the same respect and affection that we show to others. Then, and only then, can we stop seeing ourselves as victims and start acting as survivors.
The truth is that we have no say over the behavior of others or the events that occur in our life, but we do have some say over how we respond to these things. Being victims is not inevitable. You get to decide. No matter what obstacles we face, we must see them as opportunities rather than reasons to give up.
Need a strong ally to assist you shut off the endless loop of victim mentality? Try joining a gym in your area. One of the greatest ways to combat pessimism, beat victim mentality, and put oneself on the fast route to feeling physically, intellectually, and emotionally well is to get your circulation going and our “happy, feel-good” neurotransmitters kicked in via hard exercise.
“You deserved your love and devotion just as much as everyone in the whole world.”
Buddha, or Gautama
The victim must learn that even little adjustments to her outlook and conduct may provide significant benefits.